I drive therefore I am

Day trip out to Victoria today with a vanful of five females bent on shopping. Age range mid 80's to late teens. Driver, age 50, male. State of mind; sarcastic, irascible and tiring rapidly. Weather conditions deteriorating. Navigation skills of co-pilot negligible.

The run down from Nanaimo was a bit damp and dreary. There was noticable sleet hitting the windscreen until we cleared the Malahat. By the time we arrived in Victoria, it was dry but as grey as an English summer day.

The next four hours were punishment detail, being taken from one clothes store after another. On the bright side, I did get a brand new leather car coat out of the trip which cost CDN$225, marked down from CDN$680.

One thing that puzzles me about my little clan; how on earth do they find so much to bicker about? It's like English winter drizzle, it gets worse, then it slacks off, but it never stops altogether. Even when everything is laid on to perfection, all they can do is whine at each other (And me). Home is set in minor piece of British Columbian paradise. All in whinge mode. DVD's are exactly the ones they wanted to see. Continuous state of discord. What is wrong with these people? Wife is like a Tiger bumping the bars of a cage, Stepdaughters are as querulous as a troop of chimpanzees, mother in law playing the victim card at every juncture like it was some kind of trump for all life's problems, sister in law as bad as wife. Me keeping my head down and wishing for a flak jacket and kevlar helmet.

This isn't the family Christmas I signed up for. I think the coat was the consolation prize.