Nature notes

Man goes into a gun shop.
Gun shop owner; Good morning sir, how can I help you?
Man; I'd like to buy a hand gun.
Gun shop owner; We got plenty of hand guns, what do you want to use it for?
Man; I want a hand gun for shooting bears
Gun shop owner; Shooting bears?
Man; Shooting bears.
Gun shop owner; Why?
Man; I go hiking a lot and I'm worried about being attacked by a bear. I want something to use if a grizzly or black bear attacks me. Will a .357 magnum be any good?
Gun shop owner; I have one which might fit the bill.
Man; Great! What is it?
Gun shop owner; It's a Grock .357 magnum revolver. Great balance. Six shots. Double action and easy to obtain centre fire cartridges. Hand carved no-slip walnut stock with a super smooth chromed barrel and easily removable foresight.
Man; So that'll kill a bear then.
Gun shop owner; No, but it won't hurt so much when the bear takes it off you and rams it up your ass.

What do Bears call mountain bikers?
Meals on wheels.