Sunday, November 30, 2008

Jones' theory of cock up

I would like to introduce a law that should help make life more readily comprehensible. Feel that the world is against you? Feel oppressed? Maligned? Unfairly treated? Want to know why?

Postulation:
Here are the answers. Jones's three laws of human existence, which are:

1) No person or procedure is infallible.
2) No matter how highly intelligent / educated, no human has their brain switched on at all times.
3) Humanity is governed by the universal law of cock up.

Abstract:
1) Institutions and Governments are made up of people.
2) All people are fallible.
3) All procedures are created by people.

Therefore all Governments and procedures, without exception, are fallible, and subject without exception to the laws of cock up.

Observational proofs:
1) You may fill in the form 'correctly', but you cannot guarantee that it will be read correctly by the recipient, even if the right form reached the correct person in good time.
2) Everyone, even the most intelligent and 'caring', has off days, hangovers, emotional upsets etc which cloud their judgement and make them as friendly as a deranged rattlesnake with a psychotic fetish for ankle biting.
3) Under sufficient negative personal pressure, all people default to negative emotions (Unless the drugs are still working).
4) Even the best happy pills stop working sometimes.
5) They may be out to get you, but the odds are that 'they' will screw up somewhere along the way.
6) The more complex the plan, the greater the likelihood that it will fail spectacularly.
7) The shriller the claims to the contrary, the greater the likelihood of abject failure.
8) 90% of humanity does not use anywhere near 10% of their brain capacity, and the other 10% has 90% less brain capacity than the other 90%.

These rules apply specifically to the UK, although experimenters /researchers in other countries are currently subjecting the above rules to high level axiom destruction procedures.

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