Sunday, July 6, 2008

Moron CO2

All this talk about 'sequestering' CO2 and reducing emissions of what is really a handy dandy gas for the environment (Really good for improving particular crop growth at concentrations of up to 1000ppm) has had me thinking recently.

I mean, how much CO2 is put into the atmosphere by carbonated drinks? Like Coca and Pepsi-Cola for example? Back in my very mis-spent youth, I worked in a soft drinks servery for a couple of months between college terms, and one of my duties was changing the CO2 and syrup cylinders every so often. Now I find myself wondering how much Carbon Dioxide is released every hour of every day by various man made processes, not just cars and power stations. What about brewing and baking?

Surely if we're that gosh-darned keen to cut global CO2 we shouldn't be just talking about putting more of us peons into the people packed hell of public transport and eating godawful Tofu salads, we should be talking about stopping people drinking mineralised bottled water, carbonated soft drinks, Beer, Champagne etc. Not to mention any product which has fermentation as part of it's production process. Even spirits require fermentation before distillation can take place. No more Malt Whiskey? Oh the horror. Hand me the shotgun now. Life simply won't be worth the candle. I mean, who in the green lobby is going to have the courage to tell the middle classes to give up Perrier?

In addition, are we going to have to give up foods which are dependent upon yeast reactions in their production in pursuit of reducing CO2 emissions? No more risen bread for example. No Sliced loaves, white, wholemeal or Sourdough. No more buns or bagels. No more doughnuts. Bakery would have to become a criminal offence. The sandwich as we know it would cease to be. Unleavened bread as a once in a while alternative is okay, but even so can't really take the place of a good old doorstep slice butty.

Right, so in order to 'save the planet', we have to give up everything that gives us even the teensiest frisson of pleasure. All in the ineffectual pursuit of reducing world wide levels of atmospheric CO2.

My verdict;'tain't worth it. Screw the greenies. I'll have a beer with my burger.

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